I'm trying really, really, really hard to not get hopeful and optimistic
you have NO idea.
I keep trying to stop myself from thinking about it every time my mind trails off,
and I keep telling myself that this is impossible.

But I hate how the littlest thing gets the optimistic part of me in the back of my head,
and it just perks up and doesn't settle back down.
It keeps finding loopholes so that I can tell myself that no, it is possible
and there are still certain possibilities.
It MAKES me find false hope when the rest of my brain knows it's really stupid.
Strangely, the teensy optimistic part, when perked up, is overpowering.

come on ... i've got too much experience .....haaaha
i am not gonna take the initiative again...

...............

just flip through some random photos in my hard disk for my assignment
and i realize that.. i really miss you guys